IM-PACT!!

What can be better in life than loving someone and being loved. And moreover when the love reaches the depths of souls, so much so that the souls of the two people are connected with the same thread of love, we reach the heights of bliss and ecstacy. But being myself in a relationship and seeing my friends and others too I have observed that something prevents all of us from letting our love seep in our soul. There is a strange kind of a hesitation in all of us from embracing that love fearlessly and completely with open arms. I mean really with open arm!!. There is a hesitation in becoming one with that force of love which fills us from within and without and seeps into every cell of ours.

        

As I write this a vivid picture comes to my mind of a person walking in the drizzle. Have you ever seen that when it is drizzling most of us clutch our fists and hands, bow down our head and walk in a way to prevent our selves from getting wet? Have you ever noticed those lines on the forehead as a result of us tightening our facial muscles while walking in the drizzle? It seems that though we are walking in the drizzle and getting wet unavoidably but we still do those small things to prevent ourselves from getting wet. The lines on the forehead and the clutched fist is nothing but a sign of resistance to get wet, even when we know that wont help at all. And suddenly when you let go off all the resistance and fear and open your arms and raise your head to the sky the fine drops of rain slide down your forehead and onto the nose and you break free. That feeling is so great and fine. You feel one with nature and you really let the rain and bliss seep in every cell of yours.

The love in our lives is no different from the drizzle. And though we know that letting go off the resistance would ultimately take us to the path of bliss but the counter force to let go off that fear and resistance is too strong. The battles and challenges of life, though worth living, have made us individualists, it has made us highly strong headed, and at the same time has made us more rigid. We have narrowed down our individuality and our identity to our strong headed opinions, our principles, etc. And therefore we are afraid of changing and accomodating because that in our opinion would mean losing of identity. It is this which prevents us from opening our arms and raising our heads to the sky when God, through another human being has decided to shower love upon us.

All said and done. The above resistance is not completely invalid, and in many cases infact it may be your strong suit too. It may be something which helps you win in other areas of life. And moreover the term Unconditional Love may really sound heavenly but its not possible to love someone unconditionally. Two people in love may have a different view of life, different ways of working, different principles, etc. And unfortunately lack of acceptance of these differences come in the way of unity of souls in the real sense. And even if one of the person accepts the differences does not mean that the other will also do the same. And even if both the people accept the differences doesnt mean that the differences have disappeared. Trust me acceptance might lower down the resistance and increase the possibility of reaching a common ground, but it will not unite your souls completely because somewhere something is being compromised. Not only these differences but certain other differences due to the acts of God like differences in destiny, death of a loved one, etc come in the way of that blissful unity of souls.

Are we as humans doomed to an incomplete love inevitably? Or can we indeed live life in a way where irrespective of our differences we are really drenched into each other, as if sleeping naked in the same blanket in the cold winter night, where at least for sometime physically and emotionally there ceases to be any barrier?

Below are the words of Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet. Reading these lines I have got some answers and some peace..

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

            

When girls say that you are a handsome guy and still you are not bothered about the growing size of your ass you can safely conclude that you are touching the heights of laziness!!!

I am experiencing pretty much the same thing these days. People have been telling me dude you are gaining weight slowly and I am least bothered. I have become so lazy sitting at home that even the thought of joining the jym has become an ordeal. Yesterday when Reedima hit my butt with a newspaper and said it is looking fatter and heavier than before, I decided to do something about it.. So today I spent half an hour on the net and googled how to eat and still loose weight! (Laziness right?). I found something interesting over there but then its again not less than a battle to convince mom to prepare that kind of food everyday for next 15 days at least, and moreover since I am so lazy these days, I dont wanna make that effort too.. :-) So again I am back to square one.

As a matter of fact really I did nothing today. I woke up at around 9 in the morning but dint leave the bed before 10.30. Then mom came in and shouted on me to get up and do something.. (You know she cant stand people sleeping away to glory after the sun rise). I woke up reluctantly, got hold of my laptop and began surfing the net on the bed itself. Ate breakfast and realized I dint brush my teeth. Did the toilet business and the rest of day continued as slowly.....

I am waiting for the college to reopen and waiting for the action to come back in life. Honestly. Meeting the deadlines of completing presentations, projects, assignments, and attending seminars of corporate organizations and still taking out time for hanging out with friends is always better. Gives you some sense of fulfilment and satisfaction instead of becoming a lazy bum!

Lets talk about toilets today!!

All random stuff.... :-)

Great thinkers and Scientists, we have heard, used to sit in toilets for hours together either on the shit pot or in the bath tub, before shouting 'EUREKA' or coming up with brilliant and life transforming ideas!! I dont disagree with this, because I myself have found that my brain works wonders when I am sitting in the toilet. Trust me the kind of ideas I get there makes me sometimes feel proud of myself!! After all what is it with toilets man??

Unfortunately I dont know much about the relationship which women share with the toilet seats, except for the fact that women watch them selves in the toilet mirror for hours and hours from different angles before stepping in the shower. And at this time the only thing they do is either wishful thinking(in case they think they are fat) or feel proud of themselves for having the perfect figure and having appropriate flesh at strategic places ;-). Though the one thing which I dont understand is that why do women see themselves everyday in the mirror, before stepping in the shower?? Do they expect to grow fat in one day?? hehehe...

Anyways, we were talking about the relationship with toilets.. Yeah as I said above, I dont know much about the relationship which women share with the toilet. But yeah, men share an intimate relationship with the toilet seats, because even the research says that shit pots are the spring well of great ideas!! Probably when you are shitting you are more receptive to new ideas to fill in the vaccum again :-)

Not only this.. Men have even sharpened their sense of humour inside toilets by writing silly yet extremely funny jokes on the wall in front of them when they are sitting on the shit pot or peeing.

Recently while peeing in a public toilet I could not hold my laughter when I read a one liner on the wall!! It wrote-

                                         "देश की आबादी बढाने वाली चीज़ तुम्हारे हाथ में है!" :-) :-)

And yeah, how can I forget about the favorite washroom talks.. Till long it used to elude me that why do girls go to washrooms in a herd. Obviously all the girls dont go to pee togehter, then what is it?? Till now what I could only observe that whenever I or any other guy used to talk to a new girl, she would rush in the bathroom after a few minutes with a group of girls running behind her.. LOL!!! I am sure they giggled how HOT or how NOT i or the other guy was. :-)

Then the second thing which I have observed million times is that if one girl would cry then the entire heard of girls would rush after her in the bathroom.. :-)

Guys talk about sports, about how sexy that girl was looking today, and about shagging and all.. LOL!!!

To pee or not to pee is not the only thing you do in the toilet!!!

There is a lot more :-) :-)

There are always two worlds in which we lead our lives. An internal world and the external world. And more often than not there is a ceaseless conflict between these two worlds and sometimes we end up searching for our place between these two worlds, and since we as people love to have a sense of belongingness with the external world, we manage to find our place somewhere out there. But that is not all! In our quest of finding and establishing our place out there, we try to keep our basic values, ethos, principles, etc intact because we want to minimize the conflict with ourselves too.

In the contemporary times specifically when we find an invasion of varied everchanging and dynamic thoughts  from all around which is the springwell of lifestyles, relationships, and everything around us, we find our very principles shaking sometimes. Lets accept it. I have seen that the principles of most 'principled' people have shook because of their on going conflicts with the external world. And let me make my ground clear over here. I am not complaining that they were weak people. I have examples where I have restructured my principles etc. So i am not complaining. What i am just trying to say that probably they were too rigid and now they find their ice cold rigidity melting away due to the heat of their conflicts with the two worlds. And the conflicts arise due to the paralysis which the 'rigid' principles bring and which render the person unable to live in peace and harmony with the two worlds.

So where does all this put us??

On the one hand our principles are at stake, and on the other hand our survival of living. In the struggle to find our place we sometimes give in to the external world, sometimes happily embrace the external world, sometimes refuse to budge, and in very rare times weave an awesome dynamic and an optimum balance between the two worlds. Its not an easy task to weave that balance.

All said and done I dont have a solution to the above described problem and no one would ever have a general solution. We all are travelling a different journey and our solutions have to be different because the two worlds in which we live are different and unique from the others, and so our conflicts are different.

Towards the end I would say that the basic principles of humanity have to be upheld in all circumstances because indeed they are the life blood of our civilization, but I dont hesitate in saying that the superficial principles can not have a quality of timelessness in them and have to be restructured all the time in a way that a delicate yet perfect balance is weaved between the two worlds, because these two worlds will always exist with people at any time and the best person would be that who minimizes this conflict within these two worlds all the time.

A bit of anticipation and a bit of foreplay can send you to the heights of orgasm. Isn't it?? ;-) And the higher you reach before the orgasm, the lower you are sent after the orgasm.. Thats exactly what is happening with me right now. The Diwali festival brought with it self a great degree of anticipation for fun, playing cards, parties, dinners, etc few days before Diwali.. All this anticipation transformed into a reality with all the parties and get to gethers happening at my place and sometimes at my relatives places.. All the events happening almost every night and every evening brought complete merry making all around. Then there was the Diwali evening and the night when we played cards the entire night and to add to the fun more dad won around 7 grands in the card games which went on till 4.30 in the morning!!

Today 2 days after Diwali, i have nothing to do. Days have become all slow and boring.. Dullness is the right word!! No more cards, no more good food, and no more drinks.. Guess what.. The orgasm has all ended and from the peaks i have come down to deep valleys. Christmas is far. New year parties are far, till then i hope i find out ways to live high again!!

Tonight i will go for beer with my friends for sure. :-) Lets get high again!!!!

Well... Lets talk about women :-)

You see disagreeing is an art which men of today must learn because every time you disagree with them, you run a risk of earning a reputation. And especially if you are one of those guys who dosent want to be called a male chauvinist then please disagree properly, because women have misused this term and this is one of those many terms which is tossed around very loosely in the air by them without understanding its true meaning.. :-). Infact women today misuse everything which is somewhere related to feminism.

You see the very word called 'FEMINISM' is flawed completely. "Wikipedia defines Feminism as pushing for EQUAL rights for women as shared by men in the society." Well if that was the case then why was the word  'EQUALITY' not used??? Why Feminism???

Very humbly submitting that i know that women are not equal even today.. Thanks to those dogs (men) of the previous generations who kept the women down with an iron hand. And really i for one appreciate women who have developed and demonstrated that even they are no less. They handle the child almost single handedly in the initial years, they have shown immense capabilities even in the business world and what not. But i would also like to submit very humbly that women, in their quest of getting there have overdone what they should have done. So much so that its getting dangerous.

No dont get me wrong.. I am not afraid of women developing and growing, and i am really all for it. But they, in the quest of their growth are not only trying to pull down the men but even pulling down the other members of their own sex which is quite funny.

This somewhere shows there desperation which is though understandable considering their not so good history but that alone is not a reason enough to push so hard, that you pull down even the members of your own sex. It seems women to satisfy their urge of domination etc have themselves become 'more men' than men themselves, and thus have ended up defeating their own purpose of emancipation.

Thankfully some good sense has prevailed on the young men of today and they have realized that women should have an equal say in every aspect of life, and that they are capable too. To this realization of men, women have responded very aggressively. So aggressively that relationships have fallen apart.

Another thought is that men and women are not equal and so nothing is wrong with that... Well read on..

Men and women are both endowed with different characteristics which complement each other perfectly. And so men and women are not equal!! Here i am not talking about superiority or inferiority but its just that they are not equal.. They are different. Research shows that men are better off in certain things and women are better off in certain other things. Sadly the research which i am talking about only talks from the context of the behavioural aspect. It doesnt say very explicitly that which activities are done better by whom.

And finally there are a breed of funny women these days who say that women are so self sufficient that now due to technology and shit, they dont even need a man to father their children.

Well, i want to ask, were the women treating men only as sex objects so that they could have kids from them? And now when you have technology to fertile your womb, you say that you dont require men?? For God's sake!!! what kind of an attitude are the women of today carrying? And thats why i wrote above, that sometimes this kind of a behaviour in women can be dangerous for the balance in our society. You very much need men just like they need you.

I apologise for the injustice my grandfathers and your grandfathers did on my grandmothers and your grandmothers, though an apology from me is not warranted for. I empathise and sympathise truly the strugglesome battle which women of the world faced till sometime back due to male domination and I acknowledge that completely. But an appropriate gesture and response from women is what which is needed to maintain balance.

P.S. The other day i was travelling in the metro and a lady came after sometime with her 2 friends. All three of them were looking healthy and were talking and laughing.. Suddenly one women asked me to get up and give her the seat. I was not sitting on the ladies seat and the way she asked was as if the metro belongs to her father :-) :-) I found it very funny and I responded her in the same tone in which she was talking. I said I am not well and I wont get up, ask for a seat from the ladies section. To this she responded in a typically complaining tone which has become a way of life for many women today. She said 'gents ko tameez nahi hai ladies se kaise baat karte hain'
hahahaha..... For God's sake..... WTF!!!

We as human beings have made our identities very fragile by integrating our identity to things other than our real self. Now defining real self exactly is a subject matter of pure philosophy so i wont go there, but i am sure intuitively we know what I am talking about...

So what is the most fragile thing???

Well they could be many, but to my mind comes one thing which is not only fragile but highly vulnerable to disagreements, or sometimes even attacks in rare situations. This means that if we integrate our identity with this particular thing only then obviously we would be in a situation where we would feel that its our identity with which people are disagreeing and its our identity which is being attacked sometimes.

I am talking about the word 'OPINIONS'

Everyone has thoughts and opinions about everything. Sometimes we become so opinionated that we become our opinions. In other words we narrow down our identity to one thing called opinion. And then we guard that opinion of ours against all others. We guard it with our blood, life , and soul, because we have narrowed down our identity to simply our opinion, and to safeguard our identity we'll do anything.

Consider the following example which is in a very macro sense.

Religion. Some people start living in a fallacy that their's is the only religion and their's is the only God. They start having this opinion obviously and so even if someone talks about being an atheist or an agnostic from their religion, the 'keepers of the religion' would rather eliminate such people. (Pakistan, Afghanistan have a death penalty for practising atheism)

Why would this happen at all??? I think again it happens for the same reason. These few people of the religion have integrated their identity with their dear opinion about the greatness of their religion. (I am not doubting the greatness of any religion. I am just talking from their perspective). The identity has been integrated so much so that they would be offended even if someone practises atheism. They feel that by disagreeing and by not practising a religion, atheists have attacked the very identity of the keepers of the religion.

Forget about religions. Relationships fall apart due to the differences of opinion. The girlfriend gives one opinion and the boyfriend disagrees for his own reasons and the girl wont appreciate it much. Whats the big deal?? The guy never disagreed with the girl or with her identity. He only disagreed with the girl's particular opinion. And the girl would make all stories in her head, feel bad, offended, and what not as if the guy has attacked her very identity.. Again this happened because here the girl's identity is same as her opinion, which is vulnerable to disagreements, and sometimes even attacks.

(Girls reading this, dont get offended. I had to take an example so i did. This can be with boys also.)

Having opinions is not bad. Because its through them that we set our principles in life and decide whats right and wrong. But then Identity should not be brought down to the level of an opinion. Though undoubtedly an opinion comes from the identity, but it should be kept apart. Otherwise disagreements will continue, relationships will fall apart, wars will take place, tolerance level will diminish, etc etc.